Oh, hello there.

Dear Mr. Hodgkin's,

I know we have just met and this is our first correspondence, but our relationship has already changed quite a bit over the last 3 weeks.  When I first saw sign of you that Friday 3 weeks ago, I immediately went to visit my faithful doctor.  I had 2 lumps forming on my neck, and the first thought I had was, "I have cancer... I'm dying."  Quite morbid, but if you know me, I was the girl, who before running out the door to school, would turn back to yell: "Mom, if I die, I love you and I'm with Jesus!" (with a huge smile on my face, mind you). So naturally, my mind fills with all possibilities and lands on the most dreadful one.  Thankfully, my doctor was calm and logical for the both of us and sent me to the lab for the works: blood tests, x-rays, a mono test and a CT scan.  That very night, my precious doctor followed-up with some of the results; my blood tests were normal and my mono test came back negative.  Reason why she is so precious? She called after work hours to deliver my results as quickly as they came in solely to ease any anxiety I had with a long weekend ahead of waiting.  She kept repeating kind words like, "We are simply in the stage of learning more. Nothing to be scared about. We can only deal with the news we have today." Wise sage, she is.


I knew nothing of you until the following week when I had an appointment scheduled with an ENT specialist to go over my CT scan.  At the time, this specialist thought I had already known my results concerning you because she came in with this greeting: "Any questions you have for me?"
Ummm, questions about what? When she saw my head tilt in confusion, she asked, "Have you not gone over your results with your doctor?" 
Oops, that's why I'm here, lady.
"Well, okay - let's go over your scan... hmm, well after scanning your lymph nodes... I don't know a lot about this, but the radiologist believes it to be lymphoma... Now, do you have any questions?"
I just stared at her. I looked back at my mom. Stared back at her. "What is that? Is that cancer?"
"Yes." 
Wow, okay.
And this is where we begin.


I was then passed off to a care coordinator who picked up the phone to connect with United Hospital.  Ring, ring. "Oh, hello, I need an appointment with a pathologist to do a lymph node biopsy."
Silence.
She looks up at me, "Any preference? Next available time?" Um, yes please.
Silence.
"Does next Wednesday work for you?" I looked at my mom and nearly passed out right there. Next Wednesday? That would mean a full week of waiting. It took everything in me to keep from ripping the phone from her hand and demanding (or screaming for) an earlier appointment. However, the shock still had control over me, so I simply nodded and prayed to the only One who heard my thoughts and begged for an earlier time.

Walking out of the doctor's office, I went straight to my mom's car as I bypassed my own. As I climbed into the passenger seat, I looked at my mom, eyes brimming with tears. Strong degrees of angst, turmoil, fear and disappointment whirled inside my little heart as my longing for a rescue, my need for hope, my plea for God's healing power battled right back.  Still to this day, sir, I will never be able to explain how wicked you were to my spirit. How scared you made me feel. How defeated my future seemed.  You caught me off guard, yes. For a moment there, your fog made me lose sight. Oh, but now I see the light, and the Lord has sweetly shown me otherwise...


My God has a plan for me. He tells me my times are in His hands and that His purposes for me cannot be thwarted, even by the likes of you. My God is known for faithfully saving His people. He is more powerful than any other. My God has protected His people at every turn and rescued them from the troubles plaguing their souls. His promises are still true for me as they were and are for everyone that puts their hope in Him. BAM.  Sir, I have made the Lord my dwelling place and this is what I'm promised: "If you make the Lord your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your home" Psalm 91:9-10. Well, Mr. Hodgkin's, I'm taking that to the bank (or to Spire Credit Union - shout out to you, Dad).


There's still another week to reminisce and bring our friends up to speed, but I can only take you in small doses.  I'm sure you understand.

Yours Truly,
Heid