Dear Mr. Hodgkin's,
It's with a reluctant heart I write to you. I have been avoiding you and dancing around this moment for quite some time. It's not that I wish to bask in your presence for much longer... it's just that it hasn't seemed quite right to close out this correspondence with you when there are check-ups ahead, an always possibility of recurrance, and still a mental battle to be fought. I still covet the prayers of my friends and have yet to walk in independence from my doctors. I am still navigating through side-effects from treatment and still pulling the strands of my hair with the frustration that it is not growing as fast as I predicted. There are plenty of moments that delightfully remind me of this blissful condition you have trapped me into, and at times, it can be too much. At times, it can be overwhelming. At times, it can make a future seem pretty bleak.
This season has made me all too familiar with those types of feelings... but here's the deal, sir. It's in the depth of that state, in an even more overwhelming surge, my God pierces through those plaguing thoughts, and with His powerful hand, He sets my feet on solid ground. You see, He is a God of victory. A God of hope. A God of good plans. He gave up His Son so that I could freely live. Why would He abandon me now? Why would He now leave me to my own avail? My life is not marked by defeat. No, it is sealed with victory. It says in Hebrews 7:25 that Jesus is forever living to intercede for me. It says in Psalm 18 that my God rescues me from my strong enemy, because He delights in me. It says in Revelation 12:11 that I will overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the Word of my testimony. Sir, at the sound of His great Name, you have no place in my life. Jesus was and is indeed worthy as He took you to the cross with Him long ago. My Healer is my Defender and He will fight for me until the end. And that's a guarantee.
So...still you ask, how could I put an end to this communication? How do we say goodbye? Simple. Good ol' Paul aforementioned your fate in Philippians 2:10-11: "So that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth." At the end of the age, that will include everything and everyone. But today, concerning you, I don't have to wait. By His good and awesome hand, He forced you into submission, Mr. Hodgkin's. I admit you fought a good fight... but you are downright evil, sir, and my God's Word promises that evil will never prevail. Jesus cleared that up.
Goodbye, Mr. Hodgkin's. It is now time to take my eyes off of you and unto the Lord....
Dear Jesus,
"I will walk about in FREEDOM for I have sought out Your promises" (Psalm 119:45). I cannot wait to taste and see that You are good.
Yours Truly,
Heid
Hello Heidi girl,
ReplyDeleteThank you for laying your heart out here, and letting us peak into this battle, and these conversations. More so than the conversations you have been having with Mr. Hodgson's are the conversations that I hear your Creator whispering in love to you -- and those speak powerfully to us all. Thanks for speaking truth, for sharing hard things, for letting us ache with you and rejoice with you.
You are loved, dear one.
Jennifer Dougan
www.jenniferdougn.com
oops. www.jenniferdougan.com
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